A Eulogy

As many of you know, a family member passed away this week. About a month ago, we found out he had cancer and in those few short weeks, the cancer had it's way with his body and he went home to be with the Lord early Monday morning.

Delbert French is the father or Kathleen, Adam's step-mom. From the beginning of our relationship with her family, Delbert welcomed us with open arms. As did their whole family.

Jayden has a train set that Delbert made him, which he still plays with. I remember one Thanksgiving, stopping my Bart and Kathleen's house when Grace was just a baby. We were making gingerbread houses and Delbert held my baby girl the whole time. With Norah, he never pushed her to like him. He knew she would, in her time. During their last visit in September, he soon had her wrapped around his finger, or was it the other way around?

I am so thankful for the generosity of his family. For the way they learned to love because of him. Kathleen is a blessing to us, in so many ways -- and she is who she is, in part, because of her dad.

It's hard to believe he is gone - but for those who know the Lord, we do not mourn without hope.

Here is the eulogy Michael wrote, it's a good reminder of love and life:

Good morning. I am Michael French, Delbert and Marion’s oldest son and I want to thank everyone for joining us in this celebration of my Dad’s life. We are completely overwhelmed by this outpouring of love and support. I know my Dad is with us today and I’m certain that upon seeing how many people have joined us he would say, “oh bain no, se pallo tourneau.” Which in French slang means “Son of a gun.” He would be deeply moved that he had touched so many lives during his 71 years with us. But I’m not surprised. I know how easily my dad made friends. His quick smile and easy going manner made everyone feel loved and cared for whether you knew him 5 minutes or for 20 years.

We are all in a state of shock by how quickly my Dad passed. It feels like he should be here with us today ushering the mass, helping parishioners to their pews and passing the collection basket. But it is from this same church, which he loved so much that I personally gained some understanding of why he passed so quickly. When taking my mother to the 7:30 mass this past Sunday two beautiful women Evelyn and Anne comforted my mother and I believe it was Evelyn who said, “God is Merciful.” Such wise words that made us feel better. My dad had battled back from two previous health issues and I don’t think that he had a battle left in him. He was spared the pain and suffering of another fight and I know he is in a better place where there is no pain and suffering. God is merciful indeed! I feel much better knowing that my mother is surrounded by such a loving community of Evelyns and Annes, Leos and Jacks, Theresas and Margarets and hundreds of other people who can help her through this time of great sorrow.

Often we celebrate the grand gestures of life’s accomplishments. We celebrate heroes. Today we are here to celebrate a regular guy. “The Family Guy.” My Dad. Since everyone he knew he treated like family. Heroically and in small ways he had an impact on so many lives.

From his humble beginnings on a small farm in North Dakota where he dreamed of being a professional hockey player, his family, along with his sisters Lola, Carol, and Edith who are here with us today moved to San Diego in 1956 in search of a better life and warmer climate. It was three years later that he met Marion Vetter at a CYO Dance and in 1960 he married the love of his life, my mom, who he would spend 49.5 blessed years with. I can’t imagine that Delbert and Marion had any idea of the journey ahead. It would include 7 pretty awesome children if I do say so myself - Michael, John, Darlene, Karen, Susan, Cheryl and Kathleen. Daughter and Son-In-Laws who he treated like sons and daughters - SuiLin, Ralph, Rick, Miguel, Mike and Bart. And the pride and joys of his life, his grand children - Jennifer, Bradley, Kyla, Delaney, Brian, Nicole, Brandyn, Trevor and Caden.

If my Dad could at this moment he would wrap his arms around my mother and give her a big kiss to thank her for almost 50 years of love and devotion. My parents are a testament to the sanctity of their marriage vows - in good times and bad, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health… Together they weathered many storms and experienced many joys and I know their togetherness will be greatly missed.

Supporting a family of 7 was no easy task. Truck Driver, Carpet Cleaner, Contractor he did what he had to support his large family. What he lacked in possessions and financial accolades he made up for with the quality of man that he was. Humble, kind, generous, sweet, funny, loving, warm. My dad was the “go to” man. If it was broken he fixed it. If it clanked, rattled, or went boom he knew what to do. If it came in a brown box with instructions he put it together. If you needed a ride he was there. If you needed help, he was the first one to arrive. If you needed a dollar he would open his wallet. And if you needed a smile he was the first one to make you feel better.

We all have our personal stories of our time with my Dad. I can’t imagine what my life is going to be without him. One of my personal anectdotes - When my life would get busy and I hadn’t called in a week or been over for dinner and dominoes he would leave me a voice mail message - “where have you been? Do I have to put your face on the side of a milk carton?” It was his way of telling me he missed me.

As I was writing this eulogy I tried to imagine what my Dad’s journey would be like after he passed. I envision that upon arriving in heaven he might see a large crowd of people and a blaring siren from a fire engine. He would make his way to the front of the crowd to see what was going on. St. Peter would see him and say. “Oh Del, thank goodness you are here. We have been waiting for you. The Pearly Gate is broken. Can you fix it? My Dad would get out his tools and fix the gate and then make sure that everyone who had been waiting would enter before him.

Upon entering heaven I imagine my Dad’s after life will include being reunited with his Dad Albert and his hunting and fishing buddies. There will be a beautiful field with 14 point bucks and an enormous lake where there will always be 30 pound bass or trout at the end of his line.

I imagine there will be a huge jumbo tron TV screen where the Chargers will win every Super Bowl and The USC Trojans will win every National Championship. (Oh, wait, The Trojans are part of my heaven). But I know that the only un-Catholic thing my Dad has ever done was to root for USC over Notre Dame. I mean you’ve got to go for a winning team, right.

I imagine there will be a Jack In the Box drive through with no waiting and a Red Lobster with all you can eat Lobster and Jumbo Fried Shrimp.

And I know that all of the children of heaven will be happy because now there will be Delbert’s woodworking and toy shop. And he can make toy trains and race cars to his hearts content.

And this holiday season I imagine that every house on his block will have the most beautiful and elaborate Christmas decorations. I will look in the sky and know that every star shining will be the lights from his decorations.

In honor of my Dad he would love it if you would all put up an extra string of Christmas lights to remember him this season. He loved Christmas so much. And please drive by our house on Mayflower Way in Clairemont for the holidays. His family will honor his tradition with the biggest, brightest most wonderful display of lights ever seen. I know that would mean a lot to him.

In closing, Dad, I will leave a light on while you’re gone so I won’t feel so alone. We all love you so much and we will miss you more than you